Satire WIP on March 18, 2017.
CERTIFIED TRANSLATIONS, CERTIFIED TRANSLATORS.
There’s a big academic (and financial) fraud connected to the world of translation, consecutive interpretation, language teaching and comparative literature, i.e. world literature in English translation.
Let’s be clear:
you are NOT a certified translator if you studied at an American university as a first-generation Italian;
you are NOT a certified translator if you studied at an Italian university as an American;
you are NOT a certified translator if you are a second, third or fourth generation Italian-American from any walk of life “with an interest in intercultural exchanges”;
you are NOT a certified translator because your grandma came from Apulia and taught you how to say vaffanculo;
you are NOT a certified translator because they hired you at a Court of Law thanks to your uncle who works there as a janitor. Indeed you’re confusing cause and effect: any Court of Law should only hire you if you have the appropriate superior degree as a certified translator.
In order to work as a professional translator from Italy or with Italian as your first language, you must have a university degree from one of these schools: http://www.sslmit.unibo.it/ ; http://iuslit.units.it/
This is a long course of studies that used to last 4 years and is now between 3 and 5.
It requires mandatory attendance – which entails living on campus or close by;
successful completion of approx. 25 exams;
and the writing and defense of an original final dissertation.
When I graduated in 2004, tuition used to be $3,500/year for the highest income bracket. Now it’s clearly more.
This big investment of time and money is a guarantee of professionalism.
There are many elements that go into a professional translation:
knowledge of linguistics in its many different subfields;
writing and editing;
culture, history, literature of the target language/s;
being able to work with different media;
being able to deliver the best translation in good faith, i.e. with honesty toward the customer being top priority, etc.
A university degree from a top translation school like Bologna or Trieste also guarantees a base salary to protect this category of workers, and their families.
But this is just theory.
In practice there are way too many “practitioners” WITHOUT the necessary certification:
some of them ask much less than the market value for a translation,
while others overcharge, claiming to be “professors” only because they volunteer to teach Italian at the local church…..
It’s always a risk for customers, but since they are NOT told what to look for in a professional translator, they have NO idea.
Let’s make an important example.
New York loves Italy… really?
The Italian consulate in New York City stands out among all others in the world for this particular reason:
the Tristate area (New York, New Jersey, Connecticut) has the largest Italian population outside of Italy, with 4 million heritage Italians or Italian-Americans over approx. 20 million.
We’re talking about 20% of the population, so that’s a BIG market for everything connected with translation, consecutive interpretation, the teaching of language and literature, and cultural mediation.
WHAT DOES SSLMIT DO TO EDUCATE THE NYC CONSULATE ON THE MEANING OF ITS OWN CERTIFICATION?
Apparently not much.
Of the approx. 20 “translators” sponsored on the consulate’s website, only 2 have an ATA certification — which is NOT a university degree and can be acquired by anyone, from any walk of life, even at high school level, who is able to pass a subject test like the GRE.
And none of them have a university degree from the translation schools at Bologna or Trieste: http://www.consnewyork.esteri.it/consolato_newyork/en/i_servizi/per-i-cittadini/2012/02/lista-traduttori.html
So the translators who truly are CERTIFIED have to “compete” with practitioners, such as literature students and adjuncts – https://www.sas.upenn.edu/italians/people/bruno-chomin – who cannot make a living just by teaching, so they STEAL the title of “legal translators” to make a couple of extra bucks.
This is how this guy phrases his fraud, speaking of himself in the third person: “He has, over the past few years, developed a deep appreciation for legal translation, resulting in his application, and subsequent placement, on the list of recognized independent translators at the Italian Consulate of New York.”
This is a FRAUD.
The consulate states that “[t]his list… was compiled on the basis of the request of the listed professionals,” and they make no background check and no selection based on relevant academic titles. So anyone who wants to do some self-promotion and advertise himself can get a free ride.
Again, many of these people cite the consulate as their employer on websites such as LinkedIn.
In fact, these people do NOT have a contract with the consulate, the consulate did NOT hire them, and they are just free-lancers and independent agents who voluntarily submit their names to the list.
More fraud: you are NOT a “Prof.” because you volunteer to teach Italian; you are NOT a “certified translator” because you have a B.A. in literature and you claim to have attended post-graduate classes in Italy and at UCONN. That’s just ridiculous: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosaria-tenace-71153439
This individual also claims – among many other bizarre things – to know “International Relations” and to be an expert of “Italian Dual Citizenship.” But in fact she provided ERRONEOUS information even on basic questions such as Iure Matrimonii.
She is anything but “fluent” in English, with a thick Southern Italian accent and dialect influences. And when we called her at 3 pm at the number indicated online, she was munching and asked where the heck we got the number!
Don’t believe all the bullshit people write in their CV, but double and triple check it.
Individuals such as these may be practitioners of translation, perhaps because they have a relative or a couple of friends to help them out, but they should NOT be allowed to appropriate and steal titles they don’t have, such as “certified translator” and “professor.”
TRANSLATION SCHOOLS IN ITALY SHOULD EDUCATE THE ITALIAN CONSULATES AND EMBASSIES ON WHAT TO EXPECT, AND WHAT TO REQUIRE, FROM PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO BE “CERTIFIED TRANSLATORS.”
With so many “diverse” cultural initiatives, perhaps the Consul will find some time for Whitsitt?
AND IN ITALY WE HAVE OUR PROBLEMS, TOO.
IS THIS THE BEST, MOST REPRESENTATIVE AMERICAN WE COULD IMPORT INTO OUR COUNTRY?
IGNORANT WHITE-TRASH HILLBILLIES FROM REDNECK OKLAHOMA STEAL STATE PENSIONS IN ITALIAN UNIVERSITIES:
ALL PAYING STUDENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES SHOULD BE WARNED AGAINST SUCH ACADEMIC FRAUDS.
DON’T WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME AND MONEY ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PIG:
FUCKING SLANDERER PIECE OF SHIT!
YOU KNOW YOU DON’T DESERVE BOLOGNA.
YOU HAVE A GUILTY CONSCIENCE AND SLANDER ALL THE SCHOLARS YOU’RE STEALING FROM.
I’MA GET MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ASS, TARANTINO STYLE.
Drunken Whitsitt driving his junker under the influence.
A redneck English grad from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
NEVER PUBLISHED A DAMN THANG IN HIS FUCKING LIFE.
Whitsitt’s class, John Wayne 101.
Fucking white trash from redneck Oklahoma.
Whitsitt in the Seventies.
Whitsitt in the Eighties.
Terrible, isn’t it?
Very vast intellectual interests.
Holy shit, he should be chair.
Years ago Whitsitt used to suck cock to Rosa Maria Bosinelli,
now instead he methodically sucks cock to Raffaella Baccolini.
In this way he hopes to realize his dream:
a FREE state pension with FREE healthcare, in exchange for fucking John Wayne.
Like, “Gimme a fucking rifle and a Bible I can’t even read.”
And this is what you call American culture, you ignorant piece of shit?
FUCK YOU, JACKASS!
Go back to Oklahoma, you motherfucking white trash ass hole!
“I swear to God, I’ve never heard of other spaces other than Oklahoma!”
Fucking white-trash pig.
“What cannot be said above all
must not be silenced
but written.” – Jacques Derrida
Oklahoma on the margins of philosophy.
L’engagement de monsieur Whitsitt avec la grammatologie.
“What the heck is historiography, anyway?”
“Who the heck is Howard Zinn?”
“And who the heck is Noam Chomsky?”
AMERICAN CULTURE 101:
There are MANY states in the United States.
Not all of them are as liberal and intellectually lively as California. In fact, certain areas are quite the opposite: redneck, bigoted and backwards. Even New York City is completely different from places like Berkeley, and not for the better.
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU COME FROM, JACKASS?
Whitsitt’s elder sister, Nancy.
Whitsitt’s younger sister, Betsy.
Whitsitt’s younger brother, Joey.
Joey’s kids, Whitsitt’s… nephews?
Whitsitt’s friends downtown.
Redneck lifestyles in Oklahoma.
Whitsitt has never quite understood how to drive without a firearm and a six-pack close at hand.
Desirable bachelors in Oklahoma.
Okies don’t care about them damn faggots and lesbian bitches in the Obama package.
They just want universal social security, so they don’t have to work for their beer.
That’s where Whitsitt took the idea of stealing an Italian state pension.
Sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind.
AND HOW DOES
THIS FUCKING SHIT
COMPARE WITH BOLOGNA UNIVERSITY
AND ITS CULTURE?
Bologna’s red-tiled roofs…
Where was Oklahoma in 1088?
Bologna Alma Mater.
You know you don’t deserve Bologna. That’s why you slander me – you ignorant, white-trash, motherfuckin’ piece of crap.
Bella gente at the Capannina club.
Capannina and Hobby One Disco, Bologna
WHITSITT’S INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS IN BOLOGNA:
A LOT of it.
No need to import and buy it for double its real price.
The drunkard’s paradise……
Here’s an example of Whitsitt’s constructive,
and perfectly legal interaction with students.
If they need anything, freshmen can press the “panic button” and call Whitsitt on his cell phone.
Personalized home service with FREE delivery – don’t miss this “deal”… LOL
Swine_1, Whitsitt’s academic CV.
Swine_2, Whitsitt’s departmental service.
Swine_3, Whitsitt’s international profile in the field of Anglo-American literary theory and criticism,
most appropriate for such a prestigious athenaeum.
Whitsitt’s ideas about Alice Walker.
Whitsitt’s engagement with James Joyce and Modernism.
Whitsitt’s deep and detailed knowledge of Shakespeare.
Whitsitt understands Edward Said’s Orientalism,
and everything that has to do with post-colonialism.
Whitsitt’s view of Indian reservations in the United States.
Whitsitt’s deep understanding of Black American culture.
Whitsitt (in the middle) and Black Power.
Whitsitt and the Statue of Liberty.
No, his list of publications in international journals.
GEEEEEEE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER ALL OF THAT?
REDNECK BURPING OLYMPIADS:
Eat shit, fucker.
REDNECK SHIT ACCORDING TO TARANTINO –
NOTICE ALSO THE DELICIOUS DETAIL OF THE “CAC” TENNESSEE CAR PLATE:
WHO THE HECK IN THE HISTORY OF SSLMIT HAS ACHIEVED:
A FELLOWSHIP AT CAL BERKELEY;
RECOMMENDATIONS FROM LUIGI SCHENONI, JOHN BISHOP AND GEORGE LAKOFF;
THE TOP FINAL SCORE of 110/110 CUM LAUDE and “DIGNITA’ DI STAMPA,” meaning that your final dissertation is worth being printed;
A 6-YEAR FELLOWSHIP AT YALE,
AS WELL AS INTERNATIONAL CITATIONS OF THEIR ORIGINAL DISSERTATION ON…
JAMES JOYCE’S FINNEGANS WAKE,
OF ALL IMPOSSIBLY DIFFICULT TOPICS?
UP YOUR ASS, FUCKING SLANDERER!
ACADEMIC CV WITH STUDENTS’ EVALUATIONS:
My original essay “Rest in Peace: Finnegans Wake III.4” has been referenced twice online in scholarly publications:
1) Joycean Unions: Post-Millennial Essays from East to West, Brandon Kershner and Tekla Mecsn Ber (Editors)
2) Joyce, Il Bel Paese and the Italian Language, John McCourt
In 2011 I asked MediAzioni to take it offline for editing and copyright at the Library of Congress.
Honestly, I don’t know how many times it was cited and/or plagiarized around the world, including scholarly sources that are not available online.
Eat shit, asshole.